


sacrifice

by rmaowl



Series: january [8]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Arguing, Braids, Castle of Lions (Voltron) Was Not Destroyed, Comfort/Angst, Conversations, Crash & Burn, Episode: s04e06 A New Defender, Families of Choice, Fear, Gen, Hair Braiding, Heavy Angst, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Hurt/Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Near Death Experiences, Panic, Post-Episode: s04e06 A New Defender, Reveal, Secrets, Sentient Voltron Lions, Sleep, Sobbing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Team Bonding, Team Feels, Team as Family, Telepathic Bond, Teleportation, if it has a place at all sksksks, keith’s s4ep6 suicide attempt y’know..., kosmo... so deceptive... getting keith to sleep and take care of himself and shit. true betrayal., lance’s iconic face masks, or this takes place before it was destroyed?? this fic has a hand-wavey place in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-07 03:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17358290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmaowl/pseuds/rmaowl
Summary: When Keith feels like this, he tends to go to the training deck, wearing himself thin, tiring his body until he passes out: dreamless unconsciousness is a tremendous relief at that point.





	sacrifice

Red loves her paladins, she really does. However, each and every one of them so far have been self-sacrificial assholes who don’t appear to realize that they’re deeply cared about. It’s often frustrating to deal with. She’s a sentient mechanical lion thrumming with powerful quintessence, containing more knowledge than their tiny minds could ever comprehend, and this is what she gets to deal with in her lifetime.

This is why she tells the other lions the things that were never intended to leave Keith’s troubled mind.

It’s for his own good. He’s got a whole family waiting for him out there, if only he could see it.

Red will help him see it.

* * *

When Black tells Shiro that they need to talk, he immediately thinks of being young and severely embarrassed as his parents explain to him where babies come from. His face goes abruptly red, but he agrees to speak to Black. How can he not? It was more of an order than a question, anyway.

He never expected anything like this, though.

He’s harrowed by what he hears.

Allura appears to have been told the same thing, asking “are such things... common for humans? Should I worry—”

Hunk comes to him later, shoulders shaking violently, seeking guidance.

Lance follows soon afterwards, looking faintly sick, in shock.

Pidge is sniveling as she approaches him, wailing brokenly “how could he ever—”

None of them know how to cope with this disturbing information.

* * *

“Red,” Keith says, disbelieving. Anger flares up inside of him. “Are you kidding me?” His words are scathing and vehement, his teeth clacking together. Her presence shies away from him slightly, just out of his reach. Anger threatens to give way to distress and a deep-set urge to break down sobbing. “We’re not fine, this isn’t fine.” His voice quavers slightly.

_It was for your own good._

Keith spends the rest of the night in panic mode.

* * *

When Shiro calls a team meeting for an unspecified reason, Keith’s already on edge, twitchy and anxious. He can’t stop thinking about what Red shared with the other lions, something that wasn’t hers to share.

 _You were never going to share your... attempt,_ she buzzes drily. It’s true, but she shouldn’t say it.

He lets out another ragged breath. He’s covering shit up with humor, which he shouldn’t be doing. That’s Lance’s gig. Exclusively.

Their gazes are trained on him as he enters the room. It’s much more intense than he thought it would be. It’s so much more than sad.

“Keith,” Shiro starts, painfully soft. Keith thinks, _I’m not going to shatter with a single firm word._

The gentility, the concern, it’s almost worse. He can’t handle knowing that they care.

* * *

The conversation crashes and burns, but it’s over. It’s out there.

They all know that he nearly killed himself.

They’re watching him more fixedly then ever.

 _Or maybe you never noticed their concern until now,_ Red says, mournful.

He tells her to shut the fuck up.

Things blur together after that.

His breathing hitches once, twice, thrice. Every little thing makes his skin crawl, his ears ring. He's agitated, irritated, severely upset with Red. He wants to bite through his lip and dig his nails into his arms, despite the fact that it won't alleviate anything he's experiencing right now. The rumbling presence of multiple lions in the back of his head is overwhelming.

Kosmo whaps him with a large paw, letting it rest on his itching wrist, a spirited attempt to grab his attention.

Keith's uncomfortably aware of the blood pumping through his veins.

When he feels like this, he tends to go to the training deck, wearing himself thin, tiring his body until he passes out: dreamless unconsciousness is a tremendous relief at that point. He can’t do that now. He’s paralyzed.

Kosmo lets out a small yip, soft and gentle; it grates on Keith's ears. He winces, curling into himself, the motion nearly imperceptible.

There's a shower of blue sparks, and then he's in a dark, quiet room.

Leave it to Kosmo to know exactly what he needs _and_ to scout out the castle better than Keith himself had.

He threads his fingers through the wolfdog's thick fur and focuses on breathing. Kosmo licks at his knees, which is comforting in some strange way. The lions have silenced themselves, realizing that they’ve been hurting him much more than they’ve been helping him. Kosmo eventually settles down at his feet, fluffy body warm and grounding. Keith is finally allowed a steady inhale. He stops feeling quite so swamped by clashing sensation. He loses all sense of time as he leans against the smooth, cold wall. His temples cease their pounding. His vision grows fuzzier and fuzzier as he stares into the seemingly endless darkness. A peaceful feeling settles in his chest. He breathes gently. Kosmo bumps his head against Keith’s hand, pleading to be pet. Keith strokes his soft forehead lovingly, the motion calming and repetitive. His eyelids droop. A yawn breaks past his lips. His fingers falter, slowing to a stop.

Kosmo lays back down, satisfied with his work, as Keith falls asleep. His owner deserves the rest.

* * *

The next day is kinder.

Red apologizes, but she remains slightly smug as Keith gets his hair braided. The entire day is dedicated to talking out Keith’s shit, releasing the things he’s kept forcibly tucked away. There are gratuitous amounts of “self care”. Face masks are conjured up from... somewhere. There’s ugly crying, messy and snotty and usually unseen.

Kosmo’s there by his side the whole time.

He has the support of his team.

He sleeps better, that night, then he has in years.

**Author's Note:**

> three noun prompt: loyalty, lion, wolf  
> dialogue prompt: “are you kidding me? we’re not ‘fine’!”


End file.
